When I first started this blog, I had it in mind that I would only write about things relating to performing. It makes sense, considering that it is linked to my acting site! And I’ve stuck to it. But thinking about it today, how honest am I really being in it?
When I journal in an actual book, everything spills out. Good, bad, ugly. What goes in there is everything that my brain projectile vomits, because I know those thoughts stay private. When I blog online? I try to be as honest as possible. Anyone who’s tried acting – actually, anyone who’s had goals and have been striving towards them – they know that it’s ups and downs and – let’s face it – a lot of the time it’s a lot more downs than ups!
So, in that mind set, when something great happens, I write about it. When something bad happens, I write about it. But not all of it. Because even though it’s still strange to think about, I know that people (like you!) actually *do* read this, and (most of the time, anyway) I worry about offending people. So I don’t write about those things, even if they’re on my mind. Am I not being honest there? Not exactly. It just feels like the little white lie of blogging, if that makes sense.
It would be different if this was an anonymous blog, one that no one knew I was writing, one that didn’t have a link to photos! But it’s not. Partly because that was not the point of this. I wanted to be able to talk about what was going on in my life in terms of being a performer, and to connect with others. Which I am, and hope to continue doing! But at the same time…I can’t properly write here, not all the time. The fantastic things, yes, I will projectile vomit! The rants? If it’s something very general, or something about me and me only, they yes, I can rant. If it has something to do with anyone else? I just can’t.
Funny, isn’t it? I can take emotional risks all over the place when I act, and do things that the average person would be very unwilling to show (emotion-wise), and I won’t think twice about what people think, because it’s open and honest and it’s my craft, but I can’t write what I really feel about some things and people, just in case someone gets offended. Can’t afford to burn any bridges here!
Maybe some censorship, in that regard, is necessary. One must remember that this is the internet, and that anyone can read anything you post on here! That said:
Here’s to honesty.
